Empathy & ConfidenceA friend of mine walked into a chiropractor’s office last year.

She was 7 months pregnant, in lots of pain, and feeling pretty desperate. Her doctor had prescribed her some pain meds, but they didn’t work. At all.

So here she was visiting a chiropractor for the first time ever, and she was skeptical.

She figured if drugs didn’t help, how would this ever work?

Then something magical happened.

The chiropractor took one look at the way she was standing, scrunched up his face in empathy, and described her problem in such precise detail it made her do a double take.

She thought maybe she was on one of those hidden camera reality TV shows.

He hadn’t even so much as examined her, even asked her a question—yet he knew that it hurt when she breathed in, that there was a sharp pain in the left side of her ribcage, and that she had a touch of scoliosis.

Is it any surprise his treatment worked?

The amazing thing is her pain was already reduced by 90% by the time he got done guessing her problem, let alone doing anything to fix it. By that point he probably could have snapped his fingers and sent her home completely pain free.

Let’s slow this magic trick down and see what’s really going on, shall we?

This amazing doctor was a master of 3 things:

1. Empathy: He really understood my friend’s pain, not just her medical problem (I get the sense that he would have been just as empathetic if she had been totally imagining the pain).

2. Confidence: His experience and expertise gave him the confidence to unflinchingly go with his first instinct about what her problem was.

3. …And of course he was really good at adjusting spinal columns!

Most people think that last part is all that’s needed. And sometimes, it is. But empathy and confidence have a way of supercharging what it is you actually do.

So whether you’re a financial advisor, doctor, lawyer, carpet cleaner, contractor, writer or engineer, proving to people that you fully understand their pains and problems is the first step in winning their trust and compliance, and setting the stage for the best outcome.

The second step is showing them a high degree of confidence that you know what you’re doing, and that you’ve had good success fixing this sort of problem before.

Then when you finally get to the third step—the part where you actually do the thing that you do—you’ll already be 90% of the way home.

Think they’ll want to tell everyone they know about the experience you gave them?

So do I. 🙂